Saturday, October 23, 2010

A Homeschool Mother's Plea

I have to tell you that I copied this from a friend's note on Facebook. I've read it a couple times before and thought, "I would really like to post that on my blog." Then I chicken out. This time...I didn't chicken out!

By Deborah Markus from Secular Homeschooling, Issue #1, Fall 2007


1. Please stop asking us if it's legal. If it is — and it is — it's insulting to imply that we're criminals. And if we were criminals, would we admit it?

2. Learn what the words "socialize" and "socialization" mean, and use the one you really mean instead of mixing them up the way you do now. Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means having acquired the skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly. If you're talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we've got a decent grasp of both concepts.

3. Quit interrupting my kid at her dance lesson, scout meeting, choir practice, baseball game, art class, field trip, park day, music class, 4H club, or soccer lesson to ask her if as a homeschooler she ever gets to socialize.

4. Don't assume that every homeschooler you meet is homeschooling for the same reasons and in the same way as that one homeschooler you know.

5. If that homeschooler you know is actually someone you saw on TV, either on the news or on a "reality" show, the above goes double.

6. Please stop telling us horror stories about the homeschoolers you know, know of, or think you might know who ruined their lives by homeschooling. You're probably the same little bluebird of happiness whose hobby is running up to pregnant women and inducing premature labor by telling them every ghastly birth story you've ever heard. We all hate you, so please go away.

7. We don't look horrified and start quizzing your kids when we hear they're in public school. Please stop drilling our children like potential oil fields to see if we're doing what you consider an adequate job of homeschooling. (This one happens to us from "loving" and "concerned" family members.)

8. Stop assuming all homeschoolers are religious.

9. Stop assuming that if we're religious, we must be homeschooling for religious reasons.

10. We didn't go through all the reading, learning, thinking, weighing of options, experimenting, and worrying that goes into homeschooling just to annoy you. Really. This was a deeply personal decision, tailored to the specifics of our family. Stop taking the bare fact of our being homeschoolers as either an affront or a judgment about your own educational decisions.

11. Please stop questioning my competency and demanding to see my credentials. I didn't have to complete a course in catering to successfully cook dinner for my family; I don't need a degree in teaching to educate my children. If spending at least twelve years in the kind of chew-it-up-and-spit-it-out educational facility we call public school left me with so little information in my memory banks that I can't teach the basics of an elementary education to my nearest and dearest, maybe there's a reason I'm so reluctant to send my child to school.

12. If my kid's only six and you ask me with a straight face how I can possibly teach him what he'd learn in school, please understand that you're calling me an idiot. Don't act shocked if I decide to respond in kind.

13. Stop assuming that because the word "home" is right there in "homeschool," we never leave the house. We're the ones who go to the amusement parks, museums, and zoos in the middle of the week and in the off-season and laugh at you because you have to go on weekends and holidays when it's crowded and icky.

14. Stop assuming that because the word "school" is right there in homeschool, we must sit around at a desk for six or eight hours every day, just like your kid does. Even if we're into the "school" side of education — and many of us prefer a more organic approach — we can burn through a lot of material a lot more efficiently, because we don't have to gear our lessons to the lowest common denominator.

15. Stop asking, "But what about the Prom?" Even if the idea that my kid might not be able to indulge in a night of over-hyped, over-priced revelry was enough to break my heart, plenty of kids who do go to school don't get to go to the Prom. For all you know, I'm one of them. I might still be bitter about it. So go be shallow somewhere else.

16. Don't ask my kid if she wouldn't rather go to school unless you don't mind if I ask your kid if he wouldn't rather stay home and get some sleep now and then. (I've done this and ended up with a very mad friend when her daughter started begging to be homeschooled.)

17. Stop saying, "Oh, I could never homeschool!" Even if you think it's some kind of compliment, it sounds more like you're horrified. One of these days, I won't bother disagreeing with you any more.

18. If you can remember anything from chemistry or calculus class, you're allowed to ask how we'll teach these subjects to our kids. If you can't, thank you for the reassurance that we couldn't possibly do a worse job than your teachers did, and might even do a better one.

19. Stop asking about how hard it must be to be my child's teacher as well as her parent. I don't see much difference between bossing my kid around academically and bossing him around the way I do about everything else.

20. Stop saying that my kid is shy, outgoing, aggressive, anxious, quiet, boisterous, argumentative, pouty, fidgety, chatty, whiny, or loud because he's homeschooled. It's not fair that all the kids who go to school can be as annoying as they want to without being branded as representative of anything but childhood.

21. Quit assuming that my kid must be some kind of prodigy because she's homeschooled.

22. Quit assuming that I must be some kind of prodigy because I homeschool my kids.

23. Quit assuming that I must be some kind of saint because I homeschool my kids.

24. Stop talking about all the great childhood memories my kids won't get because they don't go to school, unless you want me to start asking about all the not-so-great childhood memories you have because you went to school.

25. Here's a thought: If you can't say something nice about homeschooling, shut up!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Behind Every Good Man

Behind Every Good Man: Helping Your Husband Take the Spiritual Lead in the HomeI really like John Bytheway's books. This one is a bit short, but touches on some basic things wives can do to uplift their husbands and help them fulfill their duties as fathers and priesthood holders. I like this book a lot better than "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" because it is uplifting and does not tear the women down. Although, he remarks on some similar things as Dr. Laura's books and even quotes her in this book. He also touches on the "Five Love Languages" books which in my opinion are the MOST IMPORTANT books I've read about relationships.

I wish this book was longer and had more scriptural references. I've been thinking about putting together my own little book of marriage quotes and scriptures to help uplift my mind and think positiviely about my husband and marriage.

Favorite Quotes

  • Rarely is anyone criticized into change.
  • Men talk for information, women talk for interaction.
  • Men look for exits. (how long will it take?)
  • ...for every negative comment you make, you will have to make five positive comments to erase its effects and break even.
  • Men are simple creatures. (not simple minded, just not complicated)


My Thoughts About Mike
I have to say that I have a really fantastic husband. He loves me and the children, always comes home when he says he will, and is thoughtful enough to call me at least once a day. He values my input and listens to me even when I'm ranting or complaining. I have been truly blessed to have him as my eternal companion.

Those who know my history know that I was married before and had a very painful and sad life then. I know that because I have something else to compare my life to that I am possibly MORE grateful than others I see. I know what bad marriages look and feel like...I never want to be there again. That said, I can still see that I need to show my husband how much I love him each day, which I do not always do. Life gets busy and when I'm overwhelmed one of the first things that falls off my plate is a loving attitude. This a major fault of mine and is in need of improvement.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Dry Erase Marker Miracle

In August I found some awesome deals at clearance and bought Chris two shirts for $3...brand new, button down types that are exactly what he likes (he's a bit picky on clothes). Yesterday, he was using a dry erase marker and made a huge blue dot on his newest white shirt. Grrr! I was so ticked! We can barely afford to keep this weed boy clothed and then he goes and ruins his best shirt.

Thank goodness for the Internet! I quickly looked up how to get dry erase out of clothing and found that Murphy's Oil Soap works miracles. Take a look at these...


Grrr!


Murphy's Oil Soap to the rescue! Safely cleans wood (and dry erase marker).


It leaches into the cloth behind it, so use something you don't care about.


After about 30 scrubs with the soap and a toohbrush.


After about 60 scrubs with the soap and a toothbrush. I just kept dipping the toothbrush into the soap.
I rinsed it twice during this process to see if it was getting enough out.


After about 100 scrubs...mostly gone! Once I washed it again with other white clothes it looks fine dry.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Things I Learned From Public School Teachers

...that are useful in home education.

Last week I taught in a Kindergarten and 1st grade classes. Each teacher had some things that are smart that I realized I could use at home. Many things in public school are not useful at home (most really), but there are things that are useful in both circumstances.

Personal Dry Erase Boards
I have a large dry erase board, which is nice in a lot of ways when teaching a concept that I want to have both of us (or all of us) write on the board together or I want to write a lot of details. The drawback is that it takes up space and in our smaller rental we don't want to a) put big holes in the walls to put it up and b) use valuable wall space that is needed for all our furniture.

These personal sized dry erase boards are much better for spelling quizzes, math computations, and grammar practice. I have tried to reduce the amount of paper we use and these dry erase boards are PERFECT! The 1st grade teacher has them for each student and has them practice math problems and spelling on them while she teaches the lesson. It made it pretty easy to have the children show me their boards so I could quickly see who needed help. The second thing she had was to use socks as erasers instead of the flimsy erasers that come with the sets. Personally, it gets a lot more of the flakes erased than the eraser anyway, and you can always throw them in the wash. (It is also very easy to find "divorced or separated" socks). She has the students store their dry erase markers in the sock.

Rolling Carts
The kindergarten teacher I subbed for (and will sub every Wednesday through the end of the year) has rolling carts for each child under their tables. I also saw this used for a special education room. If I had a home school room I would definitely use the rolling carts. Right now, I like our "cubby" solution, but if I had younger children the rolling cart would be my choice.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Botanical Garden Fieldtrip

We had the opportunity to go to the Grand Opening of the local botanical garden. Everything was free and we had a great time with some of our friends. We went into the butterfly house, which is about to be closed. I'm sure late Spring, early Summer will be a better time to return. We saw three era's of homes, two log cabins and one wood home. They had hands-on things to do like grind corn. My favorite was the Japanese Stroll Garden with their beautiful ponds full of huge Koi! It was the perfect day to see these with the changing of Fall. Gotta enjoy the weather while we can.



Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Colloquium vs. Discussion

I have been thinking a bit lately about the difference between a true colloquium and a basic discussion of a topic. I think many people in Leadership Education (LE or TJED) become confused, especially those new to LE and TJED. I decided to expound upon them a bit here.


There are benefits of both types of discussions:
  • Book Club (colloquium) is usually without children and for all adults (some young adults) in the home (if they can come). This gives husbands an opportunity to learn about it as well. Book club is usually for the more intensive learner, more of a Transitioning to Scholar Phase (even if you are still in Love of Learning but know you should be moving out of it) and/or Scholar Phase activity.
  • Park Day Discussions are with interruptions from children and without your spouses involvement. I find this works best for the new-to-tjed person who is most likely in a Love of Learning phase. Scholar Phase and higher attend to help teach and expound ideas to others of all phases.
The key here is to decide what phase you are in and apply yourself to that type of activity. Those in Scholar Phase can participate in both, but should remember that in Scholar Phase we are working for a much deeper learning than we are in Love of Learning. The readings become increasingly more difficult as we learn and grow.

I hope this makes sense. I want to help everyone along their path to a leadership education. However, I think everyone needs to get a clear picture of what YOU want and make CHOICES and COMMITMENTS that will get you there. I am here to support you, but if you want to take the journey, then you need to make the commitment.

I am in Depth, moving towards transitioning to Mission. I know that not too many people feel that is the case for them, which is fine! Maybe each person should take time to study and ponder what the phases are and where you are in the phases.

Links to some helps in discovering what phase you are in:

Of course, if you have not read them, get started on "A Thomas Jefferson Education" and "Leadership Education" right away! They are both on sale at TJED Marketplace.


I am now offering mentoring to those who are ready for a Scholar Phase. Those who are interested can email me at springfieldtjed@gmail.com.


Sunday, October 10, 2010

Learning My Place

We moved to Missouri because we felt strongly that this is where the Lord wants us to be. That has not made it easier, however. In fact, I wonder what I'm supposed to be doing here most of the time. I was told today at church that maybe I just have not "learned my place" yet. I was a bit caught off guard by that because a few people over the past week have also remarked to me how different they find the church to be here compared to where they moved from. One is from Tennessee, another from Utah, and another from Oregon. So what do all these places have in common? I was especially surprised that the woman from Tennessee found the church to be so different here.

I'm not even sure that the change that is needed is in the church, maybe I am the one who needs to change. Some things here are by-the-book but most things are the spirit-of-the-law. I've been noticing lots of differences, the most being the lack of commitment. The same five families do most of the work it seems, which is very sad. Then I started to realize that maybe the reason the same five families do everything is because they do not LIKE how anybody else would do them.

I've come to realize that I do have a purpose here and that any change will be slow in coming - both in me and in the circumstances. As I drove home from church today, I had 30 minutes to ponder what had happened at church today. I realized that I had already been thinking about the solution during sacrament meeting, before anything had even come to the surface. I still need to stand tall as an example on moral and ethical standards that are universal to the church regardless of culture. Even if that does not make me popular or well liked. How I go about doing this is still unclear, but hopefully the Lord will provide me with that knowledge along the way.

My last thought was that culture is important. I thought about The Other Side of Heaven when the missionary gets to the islands and realizes that many of his efforts are ineffective to the local populace. He adapts his style and proves he is "one of them", making his teaching effective.

The question is then...what is the answer? Do I need to change to the local culture or does the current thinking here need to change? Since this area seems to be different even than other mid-west states it makes me wonder...

Friday, October 8, 2010

Please Help Our Friends

The Payne's are dear friends and church members of ours from Queen Creek, Arizona. Their story is a tragic one and I hope that we can help. See the Pledgie article here and the drowning of Jaxon and his obituary.


The Payne family lost a child on August 30, 2010, only eleven weeks after having their third child who was born with dwarfism. They have suffered tragically from the loss of their son, Jaxon, and the trial of having a special needs infant. Their debt is mounting from the death and burial of their 3 year old son Jaxon and the medical bills of this tiny 3 month old, Easton.





Thursday, October 7, 2010

Driving Miss Nayna

Learning to drive is a milestone in today's society - a rite of passage, a phase of moving a youth through to adulthood.



Teaching a youth to drive is also a rite of passage for the parents - giving mother or father a few more grey hairs each driving session. :-)


Tuesday, October 5, 2010

New Plan - Check!

With the addition of substitute teaching, I needed to come up with a new plan. I have become more of a list maker now that I am older. My brain just can't seem to store things in it's proper place as it used to. Things on the "priority list" seem to get dumped to the "things I can't remember list". Things I don't need to obsessively think about end up on the "priority list" and clog my thoughts with mundane tenacity. Thus... planners and lists have become my friends.

Planner #1
It first started with foster parenting that I began keeping a simple weekly planner for appointments and such. When we moved and stopped fostering I was happy to place that little planner in a drawer. Five months later I pulled it out when I realized that work, callings, and homeschool commitments were getting missed or I would reschedule because I couldn't remember something else was already planned. The main thing missing from my current planner is a weekly "To Do" list, a must have in next year's planner.

Mike likes to rub it in that he has a Palm (which I bought him two years ago for his birthday). I wish I could afford the fancy cell phone with data service and Blackberry apps. How sweet that would be! But, alas, our budget can't handle that kind of luxury. I guess I'll just have to cowboy up and use pen and paper. *sigh*

Planner #2
The second planner change was to add a check list type of planner for Nayna and Chris so that on the days that I am at work they do not get off track (keeps me on track too). They are both in Scholar Phase, but not all levels of Scholar Phase are the same. You can see this week's plan here. This is a form of Structure Time, not Content. They have certain criteria that needs to be done each day, but there is some choice as to fulfilling that criteria. We have been doing this for four weeks now and it is working really well. We had a few trial and error moments, but make-up work is a consequence...so my kiddos are much better at completing the list. ;-) The 2 child-planner sheet is from donnayoung.org. I filled in the basics that are the same each week and then copied the sheet. The things that change I just write in every week. I prepare this on Sunday during our Mentor Meetings (same as FEC meetings).

We still have our individual binders with student planners that I shared before. This one-page plan also has the appointments that affect them and the days that I work listed at the bottom.

Planner #3
My kids are very proficient at making meals, they have been for some time. We have come up with a system that the kids and I each make meals two nights a week, except Sunday. Mike is not home for dinner or he would take a turn in the rounds also (working 60-70 hours a week I figure makes up for it). You can see our meals listed here and who is cooking that night. The kids typically cook on the days that I work. Chris and Nayna can make a pretty awesome spaghetti from scratch.

Sunday is a day of rest for us. We typically eat left-overs or simple meals. I remember reading about Sister Kimball and that she didn't want to spend all day preparing meals on the Sabbath so she would prepare on Saturday. I felt that this applies to me, I also don't want anyone to slave away on Sunday in the kitchen.

Over time I have learned a great deal from Mike on organizing and planning. I'm thankful that I have a husband who values a "house of order" both temporally and spiritually.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Foundation

Foundation (Foundation Novels)Foundation by Isaac Asimov

I find this book to be interesting, yet it is written differently than most books. It is basically a short story series that was originally published in a magazine and then later published into book form. The story is unique in that it skips from the original characters to characters in the future. There are no "main" characters to follow throughout the book. It is like watching episodes of a series that take place 50 years apart. It takes a bit to try to figure out what has changed since the previous short story.

One thing that bothered me about this series is that there is an obvious disdain for religion, making it appear falsified in the book. Religion in this book is created by government officials in order to dominate governments and groups of people. It made me uncomfortable. I do know that Isaac Asimov is a Humanist and firmly believed in Darwin's theories. I'm sure many of his books mock religion because of this. I think it is important for parents to discuss the worldview of the author when your children read this book.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Pumpkin Daze


"It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown!"
The winning pumpkin weighed 1092 lbs. and took up the entire bed of this full size Ford truck.

Standing in Main Street, USA
Our community in the Ozarks has a ton of things to do each weekend. There are a lot of events going on...some free...some not free...making it fairly easy to decide which events we might be able to attend. ;-) Our city had their annual Pumpkin Daze today so we decided to check it out this morning before conference started. I thought there might be more festivities, but there are less than 9,000 people in our city, so what can we expect. There was some fun things for kids and the live music was pretty awesome. It was crowded but we made our way up and down Main Street to check it all out.

Mike and Celeste
The Invisible Scarecrow
More Pumpkins that weighed in
It was a fabulous day to spend some time outdoors. I feel Fall a comin'! Hopefully the leaves will start changing soon. I can't wait.

Yea! We're back up!

On Sunday morning my email account was hit by something and I couldn't access it. Then my blog disappeared completely to which I almost ...