"It Is Not Meet That I Should Command In All Things"

I am working through my Personal Progress along with my Beehives. That is one thing I should have been doing with my daughters all along, but being called to Young Women's has sparked my drive to do so again. I was looking through my Personal Progress book and found a value experience to work on which required I read the following scripture:

Doctrine and Covenants 58: 26-28

26 For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward.

27 Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness;

28 For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward.

I had always associated this scripture with service, but this time I saw the correlation to many other things...education...work ethic...etc. The footnotes mention; dedication, diligence, good works, industry, and zeal. I think we are missing the mark if we associate this scripture strictly to service. Industry relates to all that we do; to be industrious with our time in family work, making a living, our duty to God, etc.

Applying the Scriptures to Ourselves
We are admonished to apply the scriptures to ourselves. That is the best way to learn from the scriptures. So, here are my thoughts on applying these scriptures in my home.

I am often asked how I get my kids to study at home. I used to wonder how homeschool moms could possibly do that as well, my kids barely listened to me about anything, much less school work. Over time, I've come to realize that I needed to teach my kids to be industrious in all things...chores, church callings, and their education. Once they understand the principle, it is easier to apply in all areas of their lives. Now they fully understand that getting an education is their job, not mine. I lead them and guide them, but the work is theirs to do.

The second big question I get is how can I homeschool without requiring a set curriculum for them to study. The answer to that is to provide an outline for what constitutes a great education and then provide them the means to obtain it. I model getting an education myself and show them my enthusiasm and zeal for being an educated person.

"Slothful and not a wise Servant"
The biggest difference is that public schools "command" and "compel" in all things. We learn from the scriptures above that this leads to a "slothful and not a wise servant". So, why then are we surprised that so many leave public schools without a good education (not wise) and cannot find sufficient drive (slothful) to be successful in life? The answer is in the type of education, force rather than inspired self-education.

The "reward" for being a self-learner through inspired mentoring is that they will retain much more of their education (be wise) and have learned the power of self-motivation (industry) from the beginning of their education, or at the very least, have changed over to being a self-learner once they left public school.

I, for one, have learned more in the past 5 years since I read "A Thomas Jefferson Education" than I ever did in my public schooling education, including college level classes at a university. My eyes are now opened to the possibilities and excitement of shedding my slothfulness and learning to be industrious in all aspects of my life. I am so thankful to have this knowledge now!

What Makes a Scholar, Academic Ability or Maturity Level?

Reference: Leadership Education by Oliver and Rachel DeMille pages 153-189

I've noticed in several Yahoo Groups that are geared towards TJED, that there are still a lot of misconceptions about what makes a Scholar student. I know it was a confusing topic for me when I first read A Thomas Jefferson Education. Then I went on to study everything I could about the subject; CD's, MP3 downloads, Forums, and books (See Leadership Education). I think I'm finally beginning to understand what Rachel and Oliver mean when they said children need to BEG to be in Scholar Phase.

Academic Ability
It is my observation that the conveyor belt focuses on academic ability as the sign that a student has completed the necessary tasks to be a completed project and receive a diploma. They answered enough questions correctly to get a 60% or higher in every class and they can now move on to adulthood. Even high achieving students are marked by their above 90% average with "honorable mention" graduation status and scholarships to college.

This focus on academic ability ingrained in our first 18 years of life is a hard thing to unlearn! It was planted and cemented into our psyche in the formative years of our life. It is almost as hard to break away from as re-learning how to walk. It is that much a part of our being that we have to literally stop and re-learn how to think about education.

What I see happening is that parents read the TJED books and they become awakened with a deep desire to learn. They always wanted to know how to think. They know that the education they received in nothing like what they want. Then they go about applying the principles of Leadership Education, but the expectations are still a conveyor belt set of expectations. When we see a child excel and read "Hamlet" we think, "AH! They are ready for Scholar Phase!"

Why does that happen? Well, most of us never read much Shakespeare and if we did it was probably a dumbed-down version which we hated being forced to read. So, in our minds this is a phenomenal feat! Our child reads Shakespeare and loves it! They must be a Scholar. (not!)

Maturity Level
Another facet of a person's full well-rounded education that the conveyor belt system completely ignores is becoming a mature young adult. I believe this is an under-valued part of determining if our child is ready for Scholar Phase. Just because my child reads for 6 hours a day does not make them ready for Scholar Phase. My daughter at age 10 was very ill and she stayed home and read all day long! Yet, she was not a Scholar, but a Love of Learner. As she grew and became more mature, she eventually and gradually became a Scholar student.

When a young adult reaches the point of wanting a Scholar Phase, they need to BEG for it! They have to really want it or they will loose their momentum and fall back into a Hate of Learning. I say this, because we lived it here in our home.

"So much of conveyor belt education is fear-based - worrying that the child will not measure up. In contrast, Leadership Education assumes that the child will not only meet but exceed basic levels of learning, and more importantly, totally exceed in certain chosen areas." ~ Leadership Education, page 161

Maturity Level Brings a Higher Academic Ability
What I learned to focus on was maturity level first, which naturally brings a higher academic ability along with it. It is nearly impossible to have a mature 15 year old who does not want to learn, grow, and be successful at life. I mean it, nearly impossible! So, if you have a youth who is struggling in their education, focus on how to help them mature first, the academics will come.

One area I also see is young adults with behavior problems, yet the parent insists they are a Scholar, probably because of their age or reading level or some other academic ability. Mature young adults do not have problems with obedience to basic household rules, they do not torture a younger sibling, they do not lie, steal and sneak things. I'm sorry, but that is not what a Scholar Phase young adult looks like. When a young person acts in ways that are contrary to the lessons of Core Phase, they need more core work! If a young person cannot choose right from wrong, good from bad, and truth from falsehood....guess what?...they need to go back and work on some Core Phase values before they will ever be a successful Scholar.

This is not to say that any one is perfect, I'm not by any means. What I am saying is that major behavior problems need to be corrected before Scholar Phase can be successful.

Conclusion
When we unlearn the conveyor belt expectations and let go of our fears, turning our focus to fully "Trust the Process", our families succeed in Leadership Education. Suddenly, teenagers mature into young adults and mentoring parents get more questions about what they should study (the begging starts!). I've seen my youth turn more to my mentoring suggestions as they mature. Our family has seen a burst of energy and learning that seriously brings tears to my eyes...it is so wonderful and beautiful to see them studying so much and learning so fast.

Mistake #7 - Don't Have Them Mentor Younger Siblings

Reference: Leadership Education by Oliver and Rachel DeMille, pages 212-224

This is an area in which I have struggled to find "younger siblings" for my children to mentor. Last year and for the first months of this year we fostered children, which gave my children a WONDERFUL opportunity to mentor younger "siblings". I saw them blossom and have such fabulous teaching moments. Marly worked hard with Big Boy and Jabber Jaw to teach them colors, ABC's, and counting through play. Chris mentored personal hygiene through helping the little ones brush their teeth, pick out clothes, and put on their shoes. Reading aloud and playing games with these Core Phase little ones brought a great deal of happiness and purpose to our lives. It never ceases to amaze me that the family structure is perfect for mentoring of all ages!

We moved to a new state and are not currently fostering. I am at a loss in many ways to find mentoring situations for my young adults. They have volunteered to work with the nursery children at church during weekday activities and are always happy to babysit. In a way, this is almost enough.

Mistake #6 - Ignore the Written Agreement

Reference: Leadership Education by Oliver and Rachel DeMille, pages 212-224.

This is an area that I needed to work on. I only had a written agreement with my son that I did two years ago and it had more to do with him choosing to be here than about academic work.. My daughter is so intently particular about her education that I never felt like I needed one with her. I can see that the biggest problem is me. I am a lax mentor at times. I do not always follow through with checking over their progress and their work. In fact, I have about 2 weeks worth of journal writings to read. I tend to procrastinate the feedback part of mentoring. I find that I am more of a "weekly check-in" type of mentor.

Basically I realized I need to get my act together and that this is an area that I am making BIG mistakes in!

I decided to work on written agreements as follows based on the level of Scholar Phase:

Practice Scholar Agreement - see Leadership Education pages197-204.

"Do not make a formal scholar agreement with your student yet; just give her a daily option of doing Scholar studies that are more demanding than her normal Love of Learning schedule. It is not going backwards if she is on for a while, then off. For most kids this is normal and healthier than just going into Scholar and never backtracking into Love of Learning. Expect her to back out numerous times in the first one to two years. Support her when she does." - Leadership Education, pages 202-203

I was relieved after re-reading this passage. My agreement with my son is more of a commitment to educate himself at home since he went back to public school a couple years ago for a few weeks. That agreement was about him choosing to be at home and not bouncing between school and home. It worked really well, but most families will not need this at all unless you are detoxing your children from public school.

The main part of our agreement is a verbal one that study time is between 9am and 5pm...there are NO electronics unless for researching an approved topic or typing up a written assignment. Television is only used for watching items like a recorded Shakespeare play or a classic movie I have chosen as part of their education. After 6pm and all the family work is done, free-time allows for some limited TV and game play.

With Chris, I have found that in the beginning of Practice Scholar he leaned heavily towards Love of Learning and rarely towards Scholar. In the last couple of months he is gaining momentum on Scholar Phase and spends a larger portion of his day studying and reading. I don't have to ask or prod, he just chooses to do so.

Project Scholar Agreement - I am basing these items on Leadership Education pages 204-207. Another factor in considering what to include in a written agreement is learning styles and personal mission.

Responsibilities	Benefits
Family Responsibilities - Your own laundry once a week and Family Work chart as designated.	Ownership of responsibilities, not errands.
Study Hours: Daily: 9am - 5pm Weekly: Mon.- Fri.	Yearly Breaks: June and December Weeks of YW Camp and Youth Conference.
Assignments: Daily - Written summary due 5pm. Weekly - Fill-in own Scholar planner.	Mentoring: Getting a great education. Pursuing your mission with mentoring as needed.
Act like a Young Adult in morality and righteousness.	To be treated like a Young Adult in the home instead of a child.
Act like a Young Adult in continnual nurturing of relationships in the family.	To be included as a Young Adult by parents in settings outside the home, instead of a child.

This is a basic agreement and the one we are putting into practice has some specifics added that apply just to Marly. All I can say is that I am SOOO glad I decided to study the mistakes that can be made in Scholar Phase so that I could correct myself and gain better mentoring habits.

Mistake #5 - Promote a Typical Modern Teenager Social Life

Reference: Leadership Education by Oliver and Rachel DeMille, pages 212-224

Now, this is where many of my friends start to get uncomfortable. Everyone begins to reminisce about "the good ol' days" and how much fun they had in this club, that sport, and running around with their friends.

"It never ceases to amaze us how ingrained this conveyor-belt mistake is in parents - ourselves included. Maybe it is because the best part of our conveyor-belt education was the social part." - Leadership Education, page 217

Not ALL social is bad, but nor is it all good either.

"Our point is not that Young Adults should be less social. A healthy Young Adult wants more social interaction outside the family than he will seek during any other part of his life." - Leadership Education, page 218

The emphasis is quality socialization. My children have become fairly choosy about their social life. They want to check it out first, meet the people involved, see what the process is and then make an educated decision on if the activity is for them. Sometimes, they blow me away with their insights on why they want to go to certain classes and why they don't want to attend other functions. I realized that the education they are getting really does help them make decisions in their life.

I have noticed in the last two years that my younger children are bothered by unruly "teenager" behavior - at church, at the store, in the neighborhood, etc. They often comment to me about how petty "teenagers" are to them and that they are sick of hearing about who-is-dating-who and what new fashions are "in". Of course, the kids talking are not even old enough to date as my son often points out during Sunday School to his peers of other 12 and 13 year old youth. I know that they are aligning themselves with the right kind of friends, including many public schooled youth.

I did not have a large social life, but my husband did. In the early years of our homeschooling he often commented about the kids "missing out" on football or dances. Now, he has realized that our children participate in lots of great activities and THEY do not feel like they are missing out on anything!

Key #2 - Mentors, Not Professors

One of the greatest examples of a mentor is our Savior, Jesus Christ. He modeled what He taught and was the highest example of a great mentor. His words are repeated and revered throughout the generations as He taught all of us with love and patience.

Professors

A professor or teacher is often presented with several students in which to teach. In the public school system, this is often 30 or more students. A central curriculum is followed regardless of ability or interest and each student is taught in the same way, at the same time.

Mentors

A mentor is an educated person, or one strongly seeking an education, who provides guidance as to a student's individual needs, education goals, and abilities. Special attention is given to the learning styles of each student, giving the student a specialized and highly motivational educational path. Challenging as this may seem, my children seem to find this more exciting and easier than a standardized curriculum. They "own" their education as it is specific to them.

How We Apply This Key

We started with having each person make their Education Goals list. This list changes throughout the year and I evaluate each person's list during my Six Month Inventory time. During my education in education (I went to school to be a teacher but did not complete the degree) I learned about learning styles and multiple intelligences (See Multiple Intellegences by Dr. Howard Gardner). I believe that children and adults have specific ways that they learn best. I have spent time determining how each of my children learn best and work to provide ways to model and teach the subjects as needed.

In learning to be a mentor I think the hardest thing for me is what we call "staying off of the Conveyor Belt". Since I was educated using the Conveyor Belt method, it is hard for me to apply a different way of educating my family. Yet I find that as I continue to study the Leadership Education book by Dr. Oliver DeMille, I am able to find ways to apply this method and find it easier and easier to stay on the right path.

Eight Keys of Great Teaching

This used to be Seven Keys of Great Teaching, but Dr. Oliver DeMille added a new key in his new book "Leadership Education: The Phases of Learning". I feel that these keys are useful to every family - home schooled, public schooled, or charter school.

1. Classics, not Textbooks
2. Mentors, not Professors
3. Quality, not Conformity
4. Time, not Content
5. Inspire, not Require
6. Simplicity, not Complexity
7. You, not Them
8. Secure, not Stress - NEW!

My first instinct when reading this list was, "I can do this!" and then it changed to, "HOW do I do this?" Over the next few months I will post about each KEY to Great Teaching.