Adult Transitions

I've written several posts about young adults (teens) transitioning to Scholar Phase. But, as I move into mentoring adults it is trickier to describe, analyze, and portray what transitioning to Scholar Phase looks like in an adult. This is largely due to the fact that we (the adults) all had a full conveyor-belt education. For those of us using Leadership Education methods, our children have been removed from that system (or are in the process of being removed) and being mentored by adults who are at least aware of what needs to change in some fashion. We did not have the luxury and we have several years of conveyor-belt thinking to "undo".

Adults transitioning to Scholar Phase are mainly blocked by fear -- fear of the unknown, fear of success, fear of worthiness, fear of being different, etc. I'm sure you can fill in your own fears quite well. I had a list of 12 fears when I made my list.

Here were my list of fears:

1. Age of when Scholar Phase "should" happen - I'm so old! Am I too old?
2. Impatience - I want it now!
3. Overwhelmed - It is too hard!
4. Time Commitment involved - I'm a working homeschool mom! When do I have time to study?
5. Application - "HOW" do I do it?
6. Preconceived ideas - Getting off the conveyor-belt.
7. Personal Experience - I was a good conveyor-belt student, but will I be a good Scholar?
8. College - Will my kids get into college?
9. Diploma - Will my kids education be accepted?
10. Graduation - Will they need this? Will they miss it if they don't have it?
11. Career - How will they make a living?
12. Initiative - I don't know if I have the "right stuff" to do this.

Maybe your list is different or maybe some things are similar. It doesn't matter if your fears are the same or different. What does matter is getting all your fears listed so you can face them...that's right. Make a list of all your fears so you can see what it is you are up against.

After you have made your list of fears, spend some time thinking about why you are afraid and how you might be able to overcome that fear. Is it a "real" fear or an excuse? Is this something that a change of attitude will cure or a challenge that needs to be rectified (example: spousal support, more education on the subject, etc.)? Is this fear a "stall tactic" to keep you from moving forward?

You...the Barrier

The biggest barrier to your success is...YOU! I have read countless self-help books that all pretty much describe the same thing...self-defeating behaviors because of fear hold us back from the things we want and need.

Some food for thought:

• Ninety-nine percent of failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses. — George Washington Carver
• Success is never found. Failure is never fatal. Courage is the only thing.  — Winston Churchill
• Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.— Thomas Alva Edison
• Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time. — Thomas Alva Edison
• The line between failure and success is so fine that we scarcely know when we pass it - so fine that we often are on the line and do not know it. — Ralph Waldo Emerson
• One of the reasons mature people stop learning is that they become less and less willing to risk failure. — John W. Gardner
• We pay a heavy price for our fear of failure. It is a powerful obstacle to growth. It assures the progressive narrowing of the personality and prevents exploration and experimentation. There is no learning without some difficulty and fumbling. If you want to keep on learning, you must keep on risking failure—all your life. — John W. Gardner

"It Is Not Meet That I Should Command In All Things"

I am working through my Personal Progress along with my Beehives. That is one thing I should have been doing with my daughters all along, but being called to Young Women's has sparked my drive to do so again. I was looking through my Personal Progress book and found a value experience to work on which required I read the following scripture:

Doctrine and Covenants 58: 26-28

26 For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward.

27 Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness;

28 For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward.

I had always associated this scripture with service, but this time I saw the correlation to many other things...education...work ethic...etc. The footnotes mention; dedication, diligence, good works, industry, and zeal. I think we are missing the mark if we associate this scripture strictly to service. Industry relates to all that we do; to be industrious with our time in family work, making a living, our duty to God, etc.

Applying the Scriptures to Ourselves
We are admonished to apply the scriptures to ourselves. That is the best way to learn from the scriptures. So, here are my thoughts on applying these scriptures in my home.

I am often asked how I get my kids to study at home. I used to wonder how homeschool moms could possibly do that as well, my kids barely listened to me about anything, much less school work. Over time, I've come to realize that I needed to teach my kids to be industrious in all things...chores, church callings, and their education. Once they understand the principle, it is easier to apply in all areas of their lives. Now they fully understand that getting an education is their job, not mine. I lead them and guide them, but the work is theirs to do.

The second big question I get is how can I homeschool without requiring a set curriculum for them to study. The answer to that is to provide an outline for what constitutes a great education and then provide them the means to obtain it. I model getting an education myself and show them my enthusiasm and zeal for being an educated person.

"Slothful and not a wise Servant"
The biggest difference is that public schools "command" and "compel" in all things. We learn from the scriptures above that this leads to a "slothful and not a wise servant". So, why then are we surprised that so many leave public schools without a good education (not wise) and cannot find sufficient drive (slothful) to be successful in life? The answer is in the type of education, force rather than inspired self-education.

The "reward" for being a self-learner through inspired mentoring is that they will retain much more of their education (be wise) and have learned the power of self-motivation (industry) from the beginning of their education, or at the very least, have changed over to being a self-learner once they left public school.

I, for one, have learned more in the past 5 years since I read "A Thomas Jefferson Education" than I ever did in my public schooling education, including college level classes at a university. My eyes are now opened to the possibilities and excitement of shedding my slothfulness and learning to be industrious in all aspects of my life. I am so thankful to have this knowledge now!

The Compass - How to Set Goals

I've written about the Compass before, but I thought I would share our exact outline for how we use this important ingredient of Leadership Education. Personally, I think it is useful to all families anyway since it is about setting personal goals.

The Compass

The Compass is part of Ingredient #16 – The Binder, of “Core and Love of Learning: A Recipe for Success”. Also found on pages 101-102 of “Leadership Education: The Phases of Learning” by Oliver and Rachel DeMille. There is not a lot of detail about the Compass. Here is what we do in our family. Please adapt for your needs.

This should be done every six months. Keep it in the front of your binder and read it each week. If you have a mentor, going over this Compass and reporting back on the things that you have worked on or added will help you tremendously. Use a notebook, notebook paper or type it up on a computer document. Whatever works best for you.

Part 1 – Strengths

A . Things I Do Well – List all of the things that are your favorite things to do, things you excel at, and things that you feel confident about doing. This can include academics, hobbies, anything!

B. Top 30 Books I’ve Ever Read – This can be adapted for older Love of Learners to be 10, 15, 20…whatever number you feel fits. As people progress in their reading skills, this list can grow to 50! Do not list every book you have ever read. List those that really impacted your life.

Part 2 – Areas I Need to Strengthen

Include everything that you know need work – academics, life skills, self-improvements, etc. Don’t feel like this area is a “put down” of everything you have ever done wrong. It is simply a list of things that need work. We all have things on this list!

Part 3 – Objectives

A. Books I Want to Read – Strongly consider all of the classics, self-help, and especially your central canon, that you want to study over the next six months.

B. Skills and Things I Want to Learn – Life skills, social skills, academic skills…everyone needs skills in this life. Don’t forget to consider fun things that you love to do as well as things you know you need to do.

C. What is my mission? – This is hard to do the first time you write a Compass. But, still try to think about what you are created to do with your life. Over time, this step will get a little bit easier. However, don’t skip it! Write something even if it is a basic outline of what your mission might be. Children should not skip this step! My children have written profound things like “be a good dad” or “to help people”.

A Homeschool Mother's Plea

I have to tell you that I copied this from a friend's note on Facebook. I've read it a couple times before and thought, "I would really like to post that on my blog." Then I chicken out. This time...I didn't chicken out!

By Deborah Markus from Secular Homeschooling, Issue #1, Fall 2007


1. Please stop asking us if it's legal. If it is — and it is — it's insulting to imply that we're criminals. And if we were criminals, would we admit it?

2. Learn what the words "socialize" and "socialization" mean, and use the one you really mean instead of mixing them up the way you do now. Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means having acquired the skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly. If you're talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we've got a decent grasp of both concepts.

3. Quit interrupting my kid at her dance lesson, scout meeting, choir practice, baseball game, art class, field trip, park day, music class, 4H club, or soccer lesson to ask her if as a homeschooler she ever gets to socialize.

4. Don't assume that every homeschooler you meet is homeschooling for the same reasons and in the same way as that one homeschooler you know.

5. If that homeschooler you know is actually someone you saw on TV, either on the news or on a "reality" show, the above goes double.

6. Please stop telling us horror stories about the homeschoolers you know, know of, or think you might know who ruined their lives by homeschooling. You're probably the same little bluebird of happiness whose hobby is running up to pregnant women and inducing premature labor by telling them every ghastly birth story you've ever heard. We all hate you, so please go away.

7. We don't look horrified and start quizzing your kids when we hear they're in public school. Please stop drilling our children like potential oil fields to see if we're doing what you consider an adequate job of homeschooling. (This one happens to us from "loving" and "concerned" family members.)

8. Stop assuming all homeschoolers are religious.

9. Stop assuming that if we're religious, we must be homeschooling for religious reasons.

10. We didn't go through all the reading, learning, thinking, weighing of options, experimenting, and worrying that goes into homeschooling just to annoy you. Really. This was a deeply personal decision, tailored to the specifics of our family. Stop taking the bare fact of our being homeschoolers as either an affront or a judgment about your own educational decisions.

11. Please stop questioning my competency and demanding to see my credentials. I didn't have to complete a course in catering to successfully cook dinner for my family; I don't need a degree in teaching to educate my children. If spending at least twelve years in the kind of chew-it-up-and-spit-it-out educational facility we call public school left me with so little information in my memory banks that I can't teach the basics of an elementary education to my nearest and dearest, maybe there's a reason I'm so reluctant to send my child to school.

12. If my kid's only six and you ask me with a straight face how I can possibly teach him what he'd learn in school, please understand that you're calling me an idiot. Don't act shocked if I decide to respond in kind.

13. Stop assuming that because the word "home" is right there in "homeschool," we never leave the house. We're the ones who go to the amusement parks, museums, and zoos in the middle of the week and in the off-season and laugh at you because you have to go on weekends and holidays when it's crowded and icky.

14. Stop assuming that because the word "school" is right there in homeschool, we must sit around at a desk for six or eight hours every day, just like your kid does. Even if we're into the "school" side of education — and many of us prefer a more organic approach — we can burn through a lot of material a lot more efficiently, because we don't have to gear our lessons to the lowest common denominator.

15. Stop asking, "But what about the Prom?" Even if the idea that my kid might not be able to indulge in a night of over-hyped, over-priced revelry was enough to break my heart, plenty of kids who do go to school don't get to go to the Prom. For all you know, I'm one of them. I might still be bitter about it. So go be shallow somewhere else.

16. Don't ask my kid if she wouldn't rather go to school unless you don't mind if I ask your kid if he wouldn't rather stay home and get some sleep now and then. (I've done this and ended up with a very mad friend when her daughter started begging to be homeschooled.)

17. Stop saying, "Oh, I could never homeschool!" Even if you think it's some kind of compliment, it sounds more like you're horrified. One of these days, I won't bother disagreeing with you any more.

18. If you can remember anything from chemistry or calculus class, you're allowed to ask how we'll teach these subjects to our kids. If you can't, thank you for the reassurance that we couldn't possibly do a worse job than your teachers did, and might even do a better one.

19. Stop asking about how hard it must be to be my child's teacher as well as her parent. I don't see much difference between bossing my kid around academically and bossing him around the way I do about everything else.

20. Stop saying that my kid is shy, outgoing, aggressive, anxious, quiet, boisterous, argumentative, pouty, fidgety, chatty, whiny, or loud because he's homeschooled. It's not fair that all the kids who go to school can be as annoying as they want to without being branded as representative of anything but childhood.

21. Quit assuming that my kid must be some kind of prodigy because she's homeschooled.

22. Quit assuming that I must be some kind of prodigy because I homeschool my kids.

23. Quit assuming that I must be some kind of saint because I homeschool my kids.

24. Stop talking about all the great childhood memories my kids won't get because they don't go to school, unless you want me to start asking about all the not-so-great childhood memories you have because you went to school.

25. Here's a thought: If you can't say something nice about homeschooling, shut up!

Things I Learned From Public School Teachers

...that are useful in home education.

Last week I taught in a Kindergarten and 1st grade classes. Each teacher had some things that are smart that I realized I could use at home. Many things in public school are not useful at home (most really), but there are things that are useful in both circumstances.

Personal Dry Erase Boards
I have a large dry erase board, which is nice in a lot of ways when teaching a concept that I want to have both of us (or all of us) write on the board together or I want to write a lot of details. The drawback is that it takes up space and in our smaller rental we don't want to a) put big holes in the walls to put it up and b) use valuable wall space that is needed for all our furniture.

These personal sized dry erase boards are much better for spelling quizzes, math computations, and grammar practice. I have tried to reduce the amount of paper we use and these dry erase boards are PERFECT! The 1st grade teacher has them for each student and has them practice math problems and spelling on them while she teaches the lesson. It made it pretty easy to have the children show me their boards so I could quickly see who needed help. The second thing she had was to use socks as erasers instead of the flimsy erasers that come with the sets. Personally, it gets a lot more of the flakes erased than the eraser anyway, and you can always throw them in the wash. (It is also very easy to find "divorced or separated" socks). She has the students store their dry erase markers in the sock.

Rolling Carts
The kindergarten teacher I subbed for (and will sub every Wednesday through the end of the year) has rolling carts for each child under their tables. I also saw this used for a special education room. If I had a home school room I would definitely use the rolling carts. Right now, I like our "cubby" solution, but if I had younger children the rolling cart would be my choice.

Colloquium vs. Discussion

I have been thinking a bit lately about the difference between a true colloquium and a basic discussion of a topic. I think many people in Leadership Education (LE or TJED) become confused, especially those new to LE and TJED. I decided to expound upon them a bit here.


There are benefits of both types of discussions:

• Book Club (colloquium) is usually without children and for all adults (some young adults) in the home (if they can come). This gives husbands an opportunity to learn about it as well. Book club is usually for the more intensive learner, more of a Transitioning to Scholar Phase (even if you are still in Love of Learning but know you should be moving out of it) and/or Scholar Phase activity.
• Park Day Discussions are with interruptions from children and without your spouses involvement. I find this works best for the new-to-tjed person who is most likely in a Love of Learning phase. Scholar Phase and higher attend to help teach and expound ideas to others of all phases.

The key here is to decide what phase you are in and apply yourself to that type of activity. Those in Scholar Phase can participate in both, but should remember that in Scholar Phase we are working for a much deeper learning than we are in Love of Learning. The readings become increasingly more difficult as we learn and grow.

I hope this makes sense. I want to help everyone along their path to a leadership education. However, I think everyone needs to get a clear picture of what YOU want and make CHOICES and COMMITMENTS that will get you there. I am here to support you, but if you want to take the journey, then you need to make the commitment.

I am in Depth, moving towards transitioning to Mission. I know that not too many people feel that is the case for them, which is fine! Maybe each person should take time to study and ponder what the phases are and where you are in the phases.

Links to some helps in discovering what phase you are in:

• Basics of Leadership Education
• Four Phases of Learning
• TJED.org Phase Resources

Of course, if you have not read them, get started on "A Thomas Jefferson Education" and "Leadership Education" right away! They are both on sale at TJED Marketplace.


I am now offering mentoring to those who are ready for a Scholar Phase. Those who are interested can email me at springfieldtjed@gmail.com.

Raising Literate Boys

Today I read this article: How to Raise Boys That Read (goes right along with my review of Boys Adrift).

I have to say that I think this article is right on. Our boys and young men are distracted from reading good books. It is not that they are less capable. I believe that all people, regardless of gender, are geniuses in their own right. My job is to bring that genius to the surface.

The appearance of the boy-girl literacy gap happens to coincide with the proliferation of video games and other electronic forms of entertainment over the last decade or two. Boys spend far more time "plugged in" than girls do. Could the reading gap have more to do with competition for boys' attention than with their supposed inability to focus on anything other than outhouse humor? - "How to Raise Boys that Read"

Chris doesn't like books that aren't "real". He wants stories of people who have done heroic things but are real human beings...not super heroes, aliens, or elves. It took me a while to figure this out. Then I stumbled upon Robinson Crusoe. I know...stupid that I didn't think a classic like Robinson Crusoe would interest my son. First of all, I didn't think he could read such a "hard" book (this was two years ago). Second, I thought we needed to "ease our way" up to those kind of books.

Boy was I wrong! (How could I ever be wrong, right?) He loves adventure books about men who are real people, experiencing hardships and trials and overcoming them through ingenuity and hard work. Some of his other favorites in the past year have been Ender's Game, the Sackett Series, and now The Count of Monte Cristo. I'm terribly disappointed in myself for trying to find lower caliber books for my son to read. I should know better. It took me awhile to figure out what types of books were interesting to Chris. Once I figured that out, the rest has fallen into place and I was able to pull several classics from the library shelves that fit his reading interests.

I also realized that our read aloud books needed to be about family oriented people who work together and love each other deeply enough to sacrifice for the good of the family. We finished the Little House on the Prairie series and are almost done with The Hiding Place. I'm planning on starting Little Britches next, which I think will be a family favorite (it is one of mine!). The fathers and young men in these books are hard working people who love their families and treat females with love and respect. Of course, it is a blessing that Mike, as the patriarch of our home, is such a great example of these characteristics as well.

Innovative Thinking?

I found this video on chistianlogic.com and thought it was so interesting.

I have been asked many, many times why I do what I do for free. Why would I offer my time to build a homeschooling community? Why am I not charging for my TJED Teens Club? Why do I spend so much time doing freelance projects - websites and blogs? Why am I a substitute and not a full-time teacher?

Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us

Could this phenomenon be true? What do you think?



After watching this video...

If purpose is our highest level of motivation...is it so hard to see why people are drawn to deschooling and/or Thomas Jefferson Education (TJED)? The cornerstone to TJED is that each person has a mission in life...a purpose for living...a reason for existing. This mission or purpose is then transformed into a reason to be educated. Powerful stuff for human beings who want to be autonomous.

2010-2011 Curriculum Picks

I've stated a few times I'm sure that Thomas Jefferson Education (TJED) is not a curriculum, it is a set of principles when used properly can result in a fantastic Leadership Education. When we view what type of education many of the great thinkers in history had, we find that they had many if not all of these principles in tact. I, for one, want this type of education for myself and my children...really, if I'm honest with myself, I would love to help everyone be educated in this manner.

That said, here is a glimpse of some of the curriculum items that are helping us along this path. We add more throughout the year as new concepts are sought, breakthroughs discovered, and our minds are expanded to new ideas.

Language Arts
Reading List - All books on the TJED for Teens booklist (pages 23-34) click here for a checklist download. In order to understand what the "levels" mean on the checklist, please refer to TJED for Teens pages18-22. I have asked my Scholar Phase children to look to this list first and work their way through the list that is appropriate for their age, also making sure they cover anything before their "age" that they have not read.

Read Aloud books - This year I plan to read aloud "The Hiding Place", "A Beginner's Guide to Constructing the Universe", "The Taming of the Shrew", "Hamlet" and "The Making of America".

Grammar - Nayna is studying Latin and Chris is studying Japanese, which both cover and reinforce their English grammar. (see more under Foreign Language)

Composition - Each child writes essay's about the books that they read and daily journal entries. Nayna is in the process of writing another fantasy fiction novel.

Mathematics
Math is one of the areas in which I do buy "curriculum", we are still using Math-U-See.

Mathematical readings - "Mathematicians Are People Too" book 1 and book 2. "Flatland" which is largely geometry related.

History
We spend a great deal of time on history, especially American History. I purchased the American Classics Series (one recommended by Glenn Beck as well as the TJED books - pictured at the top of this post). We are hoping to get through all three over the next two years. We are also adding "A Brief History of Time".

Science
I think this is my most challenging subject to keep interesting. We are using a series of Discovery Channel DVD's from the library in addition to our Concepts and Challenges of Physical Science, Chemistry for Every Kid, Biology for Every Kid, and 150 Captivating Chemistry Experiments Using Household Substances books. One thing I like about the 150 Captivating Chemistry...book is that it also has the chemical formulas in the book and helps describe the actual reactions.

TJED Teens Club
I started a club for youth to meet together and discuss ideas on freedom, participate in simulations, and build friendships. We are using "The 5,000 Year Leap", "Robert Rule's of Order in Brief", "You Decide", and "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens" as curriculum for this class. Nayna and Chris are very excited about this class as are the other youth involved!

Logic

I have looked at several logic books and curriculum packages. Some I purchased and thought they were OK, but not really teaching what logic is at a level even I can understand (feeling a bit dumbed down in this area). Then I ran across "The Fallacy Detective" and "The Thinking Toolbox". I really love these books! I have learned a ton from them myself. We just go over one lesson a week, reviewing past lessons as needed. I have found that I make a lot of errors in logical thinking. We have been able to pick apart several political speeches lately for fallacies...pretty interesting stuff!

Foreign Language
Latin - Nayna is studying Latin. We decided to continue with a video format with First Form Latin. It is more than I would like to spend, but she learns it so much better with the videos.

Japanese - Chris found a book at a garage sale last week for 50 cents, Japanese in Thirty Hours, and has not been able to put it down. He decided he does not want to continue with Latin, so I am still looking into more curriculum for him in Japanese language. This little book does a nice job and in combination with Chris' ability to find ANYTHING on the Internet, he is already finding his own way to learn the language.