"It Is Not Meet That I Should Command In All Things"

I am working through my Personal Progress along with my Beehives. That is one thing I should have been doing with my daughters all along, but being called to Young Women's has sparked my drive to do so again. I was looking through my Personal Progress book and found a value experience to work on which required I read the following scripture:

Doctrine and Covenants 58: 26-28

26 For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward.

27 Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness;

28 For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward.

I had always associated this scripture with service, but this time I saw the correlation to many other things...education...work ethic...etc. The footnotes mention; dedication, diligence, good works, industry, and zeal. I think we are missing the mark if we associate this scripture strictly to service. Industry relates to all that we do; to be industrious with our time in family work, making a living, our duty to God, etc.

Applying the Scriptures to Ourselves
We are admonished to apply the scriptures to ourselves. That is the best way to learn from the scriptures. So, here are my thoughts on applying these scriptures in my home.

I am often asked how I get my kids to study at home. I used to wonder how homeschool moms could possibly do that as well, my kids barely listened to me about anything, much less school work. Over time, I've come to realize that I needed to teach my kids to be industrious in all things...chores, church callings, and their education. Once they understand the principle, it is easier to apply in all areas of their lives. Now they fully understand that getting an education is their job, not mine. I lead them and guide them, but the work is theirs to do.

The second big question I get is how can I homeschool without requiring a set curriculum for them to study. The answer to that is to provide an outline for what constitutes a great education and then provide them the means to obtain it. I model getting an education myself and show them my enthusiasm and zeal for being an educated person.

"Slothful and not a wise Servant"
The biggest difference is that public schools "command" and "compel" in all things. We learn from the scriptures above that this leads to a "slothful and not a wise servant". So, why then are we surprised that so many leave public schools without a good education (not wise) and cannot find sufficient drive (slothful) to be successful in life? The answer is in the type of education, force rather than inspired self-education.

The "reward" for being a self-learner through inspired mentoring is that they will retain much more of their education (be wise) and have learned the power of self-motivation (industry) from the beginning of their education, or at the very least, have changed over to being a self-learner once they left public school.

I, for one, have learned more in the past 5 years since I read "A Thomas Jefferson Education" than I ever did in my public schooling education, including college level classes at a university. My eyes are now opened to the possibilities and excitement of shedding my slothfulness and learning to be industrious in all aspects of my life. I am so thankful to have this knowledge now!

Raising Literate Boys

Today I read this article: How to Raise Boys That Read (goes right along with my review of Boys Adrift).

I have to say that I think this article is right on. Our boys and young men are distracted from reading good books. It is not that they are less capable. I believe that all people, regardless of gender, are geniuses in their own right. My job is to bring that genius to the surface.

The appearance of the boy-girl literacy gap happens to coincide with the proliferation of video games and other electronic forms of entertainment over the last decade or two. Boys spend far more time "plugged in" than girls do. Could the reading gap have more to do with competition for boys' attention than with their supposed inability to focus on anything other than outhouse humor? - "How to Raise Boys that Read"

Chris doesn't like books that aren't "real". He wants stories of people who have done heroic things but are real human beings...not super heroes, aliens, or elves. It took me a while to figure this out. Then I stumbled upon Robinson Crusoe. I know...stupid that I didn't think a classic like Robinson Crusoe would interest my son. First of all, I didn't think he could read such a "hard" book (this was two years ago). Second, I thought we needed to "ease our way" up to those kind of books.

Boy was I wrong! (How could I ever be wrong, right?) He loves adventure books about men who are real people, experiencing hardships and trials and overcoming them through ingenuity and hard work. Some of his other favorites in the past year have been Ender's Game, the Sackett Series, and now The Count of Monte Cristo. I'm terribly disappointed in myself for trying to find lower caliber books for my son to read. I should know better. It took me awhile to figure out what types of books were interesting to Chris. Once I figured that out, the rest has fallen into place and I was able to pull several classics from the library shelves that fit his reading interests.

I also realized that our read aloud books needed to be about family oriented people who work together and love each other deeply enough to sacrifice for the good of the family. We finished the Little House on the Prairie series and are almost done with The Hiding Place. I'm planning on starting Little Britches next, which I think will be a family favorite (it is one of mine!). The fathers and young men in these books are hard working people who love their families and treat females with love and respect. Of course, it is a blessing that Mike, as the patriarch of our home, is such a great example of these characteristics as well.

Part-Time Working Homeschool Mom

I've had many questions about how I can possibly work part-time and still homeschool. Well...it is a bit tricky...

Job #1 - Kohl's
I worked a couple years ago part-time at night doing ad-set at Khol's...making a few cents above minimum wage. I often worked from 8pm until 2am two or three days a week, slept until 11am and then we did homeschool until just before dinner. That was difficult. I was always tired and sleeping was sporadic at best. However, the job was easy and I had great friends at work. I took that job to pay for court expenses and had that job when Mike was laid-off, a huge blessing as they gave me extra shifts and daytime work hours to help us get by. The main thing I miss from that job was the discount! Not that I can afford to shop there anymore.

Job #2 - Foster Care
After moving to Flagstaff we decided to become a Foster Family. This is NOT a part-time job, but a 24/7 endeavor to raise traumatized children. I spent all my time doing this and homeschooling was difficult to "fit in" sometimes. However, we learned a great deal from this, grew as a family, and learned to love and serve the less fortunate. We miss many of the children who lived with us and wish we could have kept little Bryce forever. The money was....well it is practically non-existent. Anyone who THINKS foster parents make money doing this is crazy.

Job #3 - Substitute Teaching
My current endeavor is to substitute teach part-time, one or two days a week. So far, so good. I make much more per hour than Kohl's or foster care (which I didn't make anything doing), I can choose to work or not work on any given day, and I can request more or less work days as needed. My young adults are doing the majority of their work while I am gone and I can check their progress, teach concepts that need my extra help, and oversee their education without too much being taken away from our routine. I have installed good work habits with my scholar phase kids and they are doing the same amount of work as if I was here. In fact, I think they are becoming much more responsible students.

Conclusion
Anyway, with our current status financially, I doubt I will be jobless again. We have missions and weddings to prepare for even after all our debts are paid. I miss the stay-at-home days. I had hoped to adopt and continue to be a mom at home, but it appears that this is not to be. **sigh**

TJED Teens Club

In an effort to build the TJED (Thomas Jefferson Education) community and provide activities with peers for my kids, I started a major effort to organize what is already in our area and create new opportunities. One of the questions I am constantly asked is, "Why are you doing this?" People either think I'm a control freak who wants to take over everything or they are waiting for the other shoe to drop and for me to start asking for money. Neither one of these is the case, I want my children to have the kinds of activities that I know will build statesmanship. That is it!

Yesterday we had our first TJED Teens Club meeting. It is basically a class, but set up to be more self-teaching and peer-teaching based. It is a club that I have developed myself after considering many options, curriculum, and other avenues like LEMI projects and commonwealth schools. This area is not ready for something that requires a high level of commitment, but they are ready to participate in simulations and discussions. I can do that!

For our first meeting I expected about 10 people....we ended up with 32. Great turn out! It went well, even though I goofed up a couple of things and forgot to let people break in between hours. Oops!

On the way home from our club meeting Nayna and Chris were so excited and happy. I realized that they needed this club more than I thought. Chris even told me that I "wasn't as bad as he thought I was going to be." I'll take that as a compliment from a 13 year old boy. LOL! They also said that I didn't even embarrass them. Well....that's good!

If you want to check out our club details you can see it at Springfield TJED.

Modesty and Virtue

I have been thinking a lot about this topic and was considering writing a post when I saw this post at Being a Mother Who Knows. I don't think I can say it any better.

I would like to add that I found this little book that has 10 "Truth or Bare?" fashion tests. We implemented these little tests a few years ago with Sam and Nayna. It has worked really well for quick judgements on clothes. However, after reading the post I mentioned above, I would add that we do need to prayerfully consider not just our clothing, but our behavior.

Chris' Binder - Practice Scholar

Chris has been Transitioning to Scholar Phase the past 6 months or so. It has been an exciting thing to see as he begins to value studying more and he has asked me to oversee his work more - a sure sign of him turning himself over to a mentor! (See Leadership Education pages 193-211.)

Chris studies the following subjects:

• Fractions (Math-U-See)
• Literature - American frontier stories and settling of the West, mythology, and some science fiction.
• Grammar - Winston Grammar for review to help him in his writing.
• History - The Middle Ages - He is learning about the Anglo-Saxons and the various wars and turnovers of leadership.
• Science - Chemistry from a Creationist point of view.
• Physical Education - Chris is studying various sports and how to train to be an athlete.

Books on his "To Read" List Include:

• Finish the Ender's Game series - Speaker for the Dead, Xenocide, and Children of the Mind.
• Louis L'Amour's Sackett series - Sackett's Land  and Too the Far Blue Mountain 

I encouraged each of my children to "own" their binders this year and organize them as it suits them best. 

Chris's Binder Tabs:

1. Compass - His personal plan for the next 6 months.
2. Weekly Planner - This is the first year that Chris is keeping his own weekly planner. When my kids are in Love of Learning, I typically keep their records for them. His planner includes - yearly calendar with vacation dates marked, weekly schedule of subjects and the materials available for those subjects, daily record keeping planner for recording each day's work by subject.
3. Book lists and records of the books he has read and when.
4. English - Winston Grammar practice and vocabulary notes.
5. Handwriting - He is improving his cursive writing.
6. Scouts - He keeps all his Merit Badge worksheets here.
7. Mentor Log - This is a weekly meeting log where we can each write what about how the week went and if there are any improvements that need to be made. It is a quick way for him to look back over his progress and for me to remember what each meeting is about.

Marly's Binder - Self-Directed Scholar

During the Scholar Phase, I have noticed that my youth really do naturally follow the progression through the different levels as Oliver and Rachel DeMille describe in Leadership Education pages 193-211. I believe that Marly has been in Self-Directed Scholar Level for the past few months. She initiates almost all of her own learning.

She studies the following subjects:

• Latin (First Form Latin) - Covers Latin as well as the English language and grammar for both languages.
• Pre-Algebra (Math-U-See)
• Literature - Science fiction, fantasy, mythology, and American literature are her focus right now.
• History - Early Modern Times - She is beginning the Agricultural Revolution and the Colonial War.
• Science - Chemistry from a Creationist point of view.
• Music - Piano and homeschool choir.
• Sign Language

Books on her "To Read" List Include:

• The 5,000 Year Leap (second half)
• The Fourth Turning
• Joan of Arc
• and to work on the TJED for Teens classics list.

I encouraged each of my children to "own" their binders this year and organize them as it suits them best.

Marly's Binder Tabs:

1. Compass - Her personal plan for the next 6 months.
2. Book lists and records of the books she has read and when.
3. Weekly Planner - She records all of her own work every day for record keeping - yearly calendar with vacation dates marked, weekly schedule of subjects and the materials available for those subjects, daily record keeping planner for recording each day's work by subject.
4. Cursive writing pages - One of the areas she wants to improve.
5. Latin - All her notes on vocabulary and grammar.
6. Mentor Log - This is a weekly meeting log where we can each write what about how the week went and if there are any improvements that need to be made. It is a quick way for her to look back over her progress and for me to remember what each meeting is about.
7. Classes - She has her notes from the various classes, seminars, and conferences we go to.
8. Projects - A place to hold her current project notes, plans, and results.

New "School" Year (I hate that word)

x

Every year previous to this year, I was searching for...something...that would work better than the last year. I've come to the start of the 2010-2011 "school" year and realized I am finally comfortable in our educational plan (or un-plan in some cases). I no longer feel the desire to plan out every little detail or even a "Course of Study" like I used to. I've come upon something better...the individual Compass, the Binder (similar to the TJED Planner) and our family goals.

The Compass
I wrote about this in the past and we are now doing our 3rd Compass (we rewrite our Compass every 6 months). Chris is only on his 2nd Compass. I was trying to do our Compass writing together until Chris pointed out that I am expecting the same things out of him as I am of Marly. I took his advice and we now sit down, mentor and student, one-on-one, to write our Compass. Marly did most of hers before our meeting and she just filled me in on what she wrote (anybody thinking "Self-Directed Scholar" here?).

I was happy to see more depth and thought is being put into the Compass each time we rewrite them. I encouraged them to keep their older ones, making sure the new one is on top. I want them to see their own progression and enjoy the new things that they have learned and to not forget where they have been.

The Binder (Planner)
Oh yes, we still have our binders, but they are taking on a new shape as well. Each student is now customizing their own binder. We added a couple of new things this year and re-organized for finding things better. I'm going to create separate posts on each student's binder that will post in the next few days. I'm trying to document the different things I see as each student progresses through the different levels of Scholar Phase.

Family Goals

I've been adding more books to my "to-read" list. Some I have found only needed a skimming for specific information. One of those books was "A Charlotte Mason Home Companion". I do think some of Charlotte Mason's philosophies fit with Leadership Education. One such philosophy is living an "educational life". I do believe that the TJED version is "life-long learning" and being "self-educating". I believe living an educational life is in direct correlation to our religion. Christ wanted us to learn and grow in the gospel and in our earthly life.

What Makes a Scholar, Academic Ability or Maturity Level?

Reference: Leadership Education by Oliver and Rachel DeMille pages 153-189

I've noticed in several Yahoo Groups that are geared towards TJED, that there are still a lot of misconceptions about what makes a Scholar student. I know it was a confusing topic for me when I first read A Thomas Jefferson Education. Then I went on to study everything I could about the subject; CD's, MP3 downloads, Forums, and books (See Leadership Education). I think I'm finally beginning to understand what Rachel and Oliver mean when they said children need to BEG to be in Scholar Phase.

Academic Ability
It is my observation that the conveyor belt focuses on academic ability as the sign that a student has completed the necessary tasks to be a completed project and receive a diploma. They answered enough questions correctly to get a 60% or higher in every class and they can now move on to adulthood. Even high achieving students are marked by their above 90% average with "honorable mention" graduation status and scholarships to college.

This focus on academic ability ingrained in our first 18 years of life is a hard thing to unlearn! It was planted and cemented into our psyche in the formative years of our life. It is almost as hard to break away from as re-learning how to walk. It is that much a part of our being that we have to literally stop and re-learn how to think about education.

What I see happening is that parents read the TJED books and they become awakened with a deep desire to learn. They always wanted to know how to think. They know that the education they received in nothing like what they want. Then they go about applying the principles of Leadership Education, but the expectations are still a conveyor belt set of expectations. When we see a child excel and read "Hamlet" we think, "AH! They are ready for Scholar Phase!"

Why does that happen? Well, most of us never read much Shakespeare and if we did it was probably a dumbed-down version which we hated being forced to read. So, in our minds this is a phenomenal feat! Our child reads Shakespeare and loves it! They must be a Scholar. (not!)

Maturity Level
Another facet of a person's full well-rounded education that the conveyor belt system completely ignores is becoming a mature young adult. I believe this is an under-valued part of determining if our child is ready for Scholar Phase. Just because my child reads for 6 hours a day does not make them ready for Scholar Phase. My daughter at age 10 was very ill and she stayed home and read all day long! Yet, she was not a Scholar, but a Love of Learner. As she grew and became more mature, she eventually and gradually became a Scholar student.

When a young adult reaches the point of wanting a Scholar Phase, they need to BEG for it! They have to really want it or they will loose their momentum and fall back into a Hate of Learning. I say this, because we lived it here in our home.

"So much of conveyor belt education is fear-based - worrying that the child will not measure up. In contrast, Leadership Education assumes that the child will not only meet but exceed basic levels of learning, and more importantly, totally exceed in certain chosen areas." ~ Leadership Education, page 161

Maturity Level Brings a Higher Academic Ability
What I learned to focus on was maturity level first, which naturally brings a higher academic ability along with it. It is nearly impossible to have a mature 15 year old who does not want to learn, grow, and be successful at life. I mean it, nearly impossible! So, if you have a youth who is struggling in their education, focus on how to help them mature first, the academics will come.

One area I also see is young adults with behavior problems, yet the parent insists they are a Scholar, probably because of their age or reading level or some other academic ability. Mature young adults do not have problems with obedience to basic household rules, they do not torture a younger sibling, they do not lie, steal and sneak things. I'm sorry, but that is not what a Scholar Phase young adult looks like. When a young person acts in ways that are contrary to the lessons of Core Phase, they need more core work! If a young person cannot choose right from wrong, good from bad, and truth from falsehood....guess what?...they need to go back and work on some Core Phase values before they will ever be a successful Scholar.

This is not to say that any one is perfect, I'm not by any means. What I am saying is that major behavior problems need to be corrected before Scholar Phase can be successful.

Conclusion
When we unlearn the conveyor belt expectations and let go of our fears, turning our focus to fully "Trust the Process", our families succeed in Leadership Education. Suddenly, teenagers mature into young adults and mentoring parents get more questions about what they should study (the begging starts!). I've seen my youth turn more to my mentoring suggestions as they mature. Our family has seen a burst of energy and learning that seriously brings tears to my eyes...it is so wonderful and beautiful to see them studying so much and learning so fast.

Mistake #7 - Don't Have Them Mentor Younger Siblings

Reference: Leadership Education by Oliver and Rachel DeMille, pages 212-224

This is an area in which I have struggled to find "younger siblings" for my children to mentor. Last year and for the first months of this year we fostered children, which gave my children a WONDERFUL opportunity to mentor younger "siblings". I saw them blossom and have such fabulous teaching moments. Marly worked hard with Big Boy and Jabber Jaw to teach them colors, ABC's, and counting through play. Chris mentored personal hygiene through helping the little ones brush their teeth, pick out clothes, and put on their shoes. Reading aloud and playing games with these Core Phase little ones brought a great deal of happiness and purpose to our lives. It never ceases to amaze me that the family structure is perfect for mentoring of all ages!

We moved to a new state and are not currently fostering. I am at a loss in many ways to find mentoring situations for my young adults. They have volunteered to work with the nursery children at church during weekday activities and are always happy to babysit. In a way, this is almost enough.

Mistake #5 - Promote a Typical Modern Teenager Social Life

Reference: Leadership Education by Oliver and Rachel DeMille, pages 212-224

Now, this is where many of my friends start to get uncomfortable. Everyone begins to reminisce about "the good ol' days" and how much fun they had in this club, that sport, and running around with their friends.

"It never ceases to amaze us how ingrained this conveyor-belt mistake is in parents - ourselves included. Maybe it is because the best part of our conveyor-belt education was the social part." - Leadership Education, page 217

Not ALL social is bad, but nor is it all good either.

"Our point is not that Young Adults should be less social. A healthy Young Adult wants more social interaction outside the family than he will seek during any other part of his life." - Leadership Education, page 218

The emphasis is quality socialization. My children have become fairly choosy about their social life. They want to check it out first, meet the people involved, see what the process is and then make an educated decision on if the activity is for them. Sometimes, they blow me away with their insights on why they want to go to certain classes and why they don't want to attend other functions. I realized that the education they are getting really does help them make decisions in their life.

I have noticed in the last two years that my younger children are bothered by unruly "teenager" behavior - at church, at the store, in the neighborhood, etc. They often comment to me about how petty "teenagers" are to them and that they are sick of hearing about who-is-dating-who and what new fashions are "in". Of course, the kids talking are not even old enough to date as my son often points out during Sunday School to his peers of other 12 and 13 year old youth. I know that they are aligning themselves with the right kind of friends, including many public schooled youth.

I did not have a large social life, but my husband did. In the early years of our homeschooling he often commented about the kids "missing out" on football or dances. Now, he has realized that our children participate in lots of great activities and THEY do not feel like they are missing out on anything!

Mistake #4 - Give Them Too Little Non-Academic Work

Reference: Leadership Education by Oliver and Rachel DeMille, Pages 214-224

In Mistake #1 I wrote about responsibility and how giving youth real responsibility helps them become young adults rather than teenagers. This post is along those same lines. Real responsibility is more than just doing chores, it is giving them complete responsibility for something - animals, areas of the house, mowing the lawn, laundry, getting a younger sibling dressed, etc.

"Part of a young person's education should be training to be an effective, contributing adult. When you treat them like a teenager you just delay this vitally important experience. A good guideline for what responsibilities to give is: How much would he have to do if he were a roommate away at college?" - Leadership Education, page 217

My friend Rachel wrote a fabulous post on teaching children practical skills. My mother-in-law is another quality example of a mother teaching her children to be contributing adults. She raised one daughter and seven sons, all of whom she taught the value of family work and responsibility. Before her children (including all her boys) left her home they knew how to do laundry, cook, iron, sew small items, mow the lawn, dust, clean windows, and every other household cleaning chore imaginable. I was so impressed with one of her middle sons that I decided to marry him. ;-) He could make a better house manager than me any day! I learned a lot from him after we married.

I believe that there are other forms of non-academic work besides those in the home. We downsized after our last move. We do not have as many animals (down to one dog now) and the lawn is even mowed for us. We do not have foster children either at this time. All of the things I used to assign my children for non-academic work have disappeared. I realized that we need to make some changes...fast!

We are now turning our focus to service. I've asked my children to think of things they can do to serve in the community. Some things we are looking into is the animal shelter, community garden, food banks, etc. If you have any other ideas for us, please post them!

Mistake #2 - Start Them Too Early

Oliver DeMille in Leadership Education stated that starting kids too early in any phase of learning "is committed the most frequently of all the mistakes." I have found this to be one of the mistakes I have made the most often as well. Why? I think it is because we are so used to Conveyor-belt testing, grade levels, and "norms" that we find ourselves easily thinking, "my child should be doing ___________ by now". Mentoring parents can easily make this mistake at ALL of the transitions between phases, especially between Core and Love of Learning, and Love of Learning and Scholar. It's kind of like putting the cart before the horse.

Even the prodigy who reads and plays piano at age three needs a full and wonderful Core Phase. Part of Core is discovery and play, so your brilliant son can discover and play at caluculus or physics or literary analysis at age five if he wants, but do not put him in Scholar until the Core Lessons are fully and clearly learned. Right and wrong, good and bad, true and false are lessons that exceptionally intelligent and gifted people often struggle with, so if your child is a prodigy he likely needs a longer, fuller Core Phase than anyone else. In play time he can study whatever he wants. - Leadership Education, pages 213-214

I am not sure any of my children are prodigies per se, they are all very talented human beings with abilities that stretch far beyond anything I have ever taught them. I have found that once a child has shown a certain level of genius about a topic I seem to want to expect that same level of genius every time they engage in that topic. I believe that is the folly here, expecting brilliance every time a child shows interest or genius in a subject, talent, or project. Much of the Core and Love of Learning phase is spent exploring...trying things out...and yes, occasionally knocking our socks off with what they can do.

The concern is expectation. It seems to me that our expectations are what push us to want to start children too early in a phase rather than allowing them to want to be in that phase all the time. It is easy to tell when we are pushing...a time of "Hate of Learning" seems to come creeping in. I heard things like, "you take all the fun out of everything" or "I don't want to read __________" or "I hate math". It was time to back off and evaluate what I was doing and why. Sometimes swallowing my pride and expectations is what I needed to do. Sometimes I just needed to switch things up with more hands-on activities or fieldtrips.

Has this ever happened to you?