Mistake #4 - Give Them Too Little Non-Academic Work

Reference: Leadership Education by Oliver and Rachel DeMille, Pages 214-224

In Mistake #1 I wrote about responsibility and how giving youth real responsibility helps them become young adults rather than teenagers. This post is along those same lines. Real responsibility is more than just doing chores, it is giving them complete responsibility for something - animals, areas of the house, mowing the lawn, laundry, getting a younger sibling dressed, etc.

"Part of a young person's education should be training to be an effective, contributing adult. When you treat them like a teenager you just delay this vitally important experience. A good guideline for what responsibilities to give is: How much would he have to do if he were a roommate away at college?" - Leadership Education, page 217

My friend Rachel wrote a fabulous post on teaching children practical skills. My mother-in-law is another quality example of a mother teaching her children to be contributing adults. She raised one daughter and seven sons, all of whom she taught the value of family work and responsibility. Before her children (including all her boys) left her home they knew how to do laundry, cook, iron, sew small items, mow the lawn, dust, clean windows, and every other household cleaning chore imaginable. I was so impressed with one of her middle sons that I decided to marry him. ;-) He could make a better house manager than me any day! I learned a lot from him after we married.

I believe that there are other forms of non-academic work besides those in the home. We downsized after our last move. We do not have as many animals (down to one dog now) and the lawn is even mowed for us. We do not have foster children either at this time. All of the things I used to assign my children for non-academic work have disappeared. I realized that we need to make some changes...fast!

We are now turning our focus to service. I've asked my children to think of things they can do to serve in the community. Some things we are looking into is the animal shelter, community garden, food banks, etc. If you have any other ideas for us, please post them!