Mistake #6 - Ignore the Written Agreement

Reference: Leadership Education by Oliver and Rachel DeMille, pages 212-224.

This is an area that I needed to work on. I only had a written agreement with my son that I did two years ago and it had more to do with him choosing to be here than about academic work.. My daughter is so intently particular about her education that I never felt like I needed one with her. I can see that the biggest problem is me. I am a lax mentor at times. I do not always follow through with checking over their progress and their work. In fact, I have about 2 weeks worth of journal writings to read. I tend to procrastinate the feedback part of mentoring. I find that I am more of a "weekly check-in" type of mentor.

Basically I realized I need to get my act together and that this is an area that I am making BIG mistakes in!

I decided to work on written agreements as follows based on the level of Scholar Phase:

Practice Scholar Agreement - see Leadership Education pages197-204.

"Do not make a formal scholar agreement with your student yet; just give her a daily option of doing Scholar studies that are more demanding than her normal Love of Learning schedule. It is not going backwards if she is on for a while, then off. For most kids this is normal and healthier than just going into Scholar and never backtracking into Love of Learning. Expect her to back out numerous times in the first one to two years. Support her when she does." - Leadership Education, pages 202-203

I was relieved after re-reading this passage. My agreement with my son is more of a commitment to educate himself at home since he went back to public school a couple years ago for a few weeks. That agreement was about him choosing to be at home and not bouncing between school and home. It worked really well, but most families will not need this at all unless you are detoxing your children from public school.

The main part of our agreement is a verbal one that study time is between 9am and 5pm...there are NO electronics unless for researching an approved topic or typing up a written assignment. Television is only used for watching items like a recorded Shakespeare play or a classic movie I have chosen as part of their education. After 6pm and all the family work is done, free-time allows for some limited TV and game play.

With Chris, I have found that in the beginning of Practice Scholar he leaned heavily towards Love of Learning and rarely towards Scholar. In the last couple of months he is gaining momentum on Scholar Phase and spends a larger portion of his day studying and reading. I don't have to ask or prod, he just chooses to do so.

Project Scholar Agreement - I am basing these items on Leadership Education pages 204-207. Another factor in considering what to include in a written agreement is learning styles and personal mission.

Responsibilities	Benefits
Family Responsibilities - Your own laundry once a week and Family Work chart as designated.	Ownership of responsibilities, not errands.
Study Hours: Daily: 9am - 5pm Weekly: Mon.- Fri.	Yearly Breaks: June and December Weeks of YW Camp and Youth Conference.
Assignments: Daily - Written summary due 5pm. Weekly - Fill-in own Scholar planner.	Mentoring: Getting a great education. Pursuing your mission with mentoring as needed.
Act like a Young Adult in morality and righteousness.	To be treated like a Young Adult in the home instead of a child.
Act like a Young Adult in continnual nurturing of relationships in the family.	To be included as a Young Adult by parents in settings outside the home, instead of a child.

This is a basic agreement and the one we are putting into practice has some specifics added that apply just to Marly. All I can say is that I am SOOO glad I decided to study the mistakes that can be made in Scholar Phase so that I could correct myself and gain better mentoring habits.