Is It Too Late to Change My Mind?

Women are allowed to change their mind...right? I would meet the stereotype for once I guess. LOL! Well, I'm beginning to feel like a lot of my decisions lately are not working out. So...should I change my mind and back out...or stick to it...or admit defeat and say, "I'm sorry, but this was a mistake and I'd like to bow out gracefully." I'm not sure what to do at this point.

Decision #1 - Moving to Flagstaff

Mike loves Flagstaff, the kids like it here, and I tolerate it. Not because of the snow or beautiful trees, but because of the people and the cost of living. I have made MANY good friends here, but the majority of people are complete wackos! I am sick of seeing "I Love OBAMA" and "Obama/Biden" bumper stickers. I'm sick of hearing liberals talk about being open minded and then actually turning out to be unable to listen to any point of view but their own. I'm tired of being called a "Phoenician" and being made fun of because I'm wearing gloves and a heavy coat when they are wearing a sweatshirt.

Don't even get me started on the cost of living here...

I really want to move out of Arizona all together. My biggest problem is that Sam wants to stay in Mesa with her dad, which is where she lives now. It breaks my heart to think of living so far away from her, but she is an adult now and will continue to move towards her own life and away from parents being influential on a daily basis. Letting go has been VERY hard, but I know it is part of parenting, just like potty training and weaning. This is just another major step (the last step really) towards complete independence.

Decision #2 - Foster Parenting

This is probably not a surprise for many of you, but I don't think we are cut out to be a foster family. Not because of the kids, but because of CPS and other agencies that SAY they are about the children and really do not advocate for the children they represent. They are either cynical or accept the status quo of dealing with children as a number rather than a human being. I wanted to help children, but I'm finding that it is so stressful for me to fight for the children that it is causing me to have difficulty dealing with my anxiety problems.

Most of the children we have had in our home have been really good kids with rotten parents. We have had a couple that are so messed up by their parents that I do not see how they will ever live a normal life. It is so tragic that my heart hurts for them, but I cannot save them. No matter how hard I try. They have needs that our family cannot fix and the agencies refuse to get them what they really need. It is so sad.

Decision #3 - Living on Acreage

I have always dreamed of living on a large lot or on acreage....until we had to mow it and shovel it! If we had the money to truly maintain it as it should be maintained, then I can see how it would be advantageous to have at least 1 acre. As it stands now, the land drains our money and energy. Just shoveling the driveway takes all day. We just need the income to buy all the things to make living here easier. When we move we plan on downsizing to a manageable house/lot size.

The only thing I love is not hearing my neighbors. In Queen Creek we could hear our neighbor swearing and beating his kids. So this is definitely an improvement, although a little freaky sometimes because at night it seems like there is nobody around. Spooky!